You know the type.

The one that you try to avoid shallow talk with by burying your head in your phone the moment she passes by because you’re so tired of hearing her boast and brag about her child’s brand new achievement yet talks down upon other children and their parents.

Or the one that pretends to be supportive and enthralled in your chatter about how happy you are that your daughter is now enrolled in gymnastics and as soon as you speak your last word she quickly pipes in that her daughter’s gymnastics class are 4x champions and her daughter just happens to also take 4 other classes as well.
“Oh, it’s so busy for us but it’s all worth it.” She ends with a rather impish grin.
I guess this will never end in our society of being nothing but THE BEST.
Do we realize what this will teach our children?

It’s all over the media too – in shows like Dance Moms or Cheer Perfection. But those are publicly extreme. They will mostly only show the banter. In reality, the competitiveness is usually very silent.

I grew up in a very competitive family.
We love the thrill of the sport and I admit, there were times friendly games would end up serious arguments.
Lucky for me, my parents never said to me, “You are the best!” I know it sounds like my parents are horrible for not doing so but let me finish.
Instead, they would tell me “You did an amazing job!”  or “Way to go!” or even better “I’m soproud of you – Great job!”

Do you know what that taught me?
It taught me growing up that although I can be great at something, there are other kids/people around me that are just as good.  It molded my thinking in a way that I didn’t let success get to my head.

We need to start remembering that for our children.

Over-competitive behavior or “Mom-petition” as I like to call it is not a problem unless it takes a toll on your children, their friends and other parents.
It should not hamper the physical, mental, and psychological growth of kids and the friendly relations with fellow parents.

Lead by example – your children will blossom to become quite similar to you.

Most importantly, understand the importance of healthy competition in life and make efforts to instill the same spirit in kids as well.

Have you ever had to deal with Mom-Petition around you?
How do you deal or have you dealt with it?

11 comments on “When Mom-Petition Rears its Ugly Head”

  1. Never heard it put as mom-petition before but it does happen all the time! It is great to talk about your kids but it shouldn’t have to turn into a competition. (Judy Cowan)

  2. Great post! I have not yet had to deal with mom-petition, my children are only 1 and 3 but I imagine I won’t be able to avoid it much longer. I do have a few co-workers who always seem to be bragging about their children’s accomplishments and trying to “outdo” each other. For now, I have just chosen to exclude myself from those conversations.

  3. It’s funny how you mentioned mom-petition and relate it to praise/brag. At my son’s current school, I would say the moms there are also in a mom-petition, but not for bragging, but instead the exact opposite. I often overhearing moms saying how poorly their kids are doing or what they should be doing better in. Its more a competition of who has the worse kids.

    It totally drives me crazy to hear what they are saying. I love to praise my kids. I love having them feel proud of themselves. I am also very careful to make sure I’m not bragging.

  4. As a blogger that also happens to be a mom (not to be confused as a “Mom Blogger”), this is seen frequently! I’m sure you can agree. Mompetition is heavy and it’s also toxic.
    Great post.

  5. The word “Mom-petition” and just thinking about it mentally is hilarious yet in reality, it’s a very sad thing.
    I see it ALL THE TIME. Everywhere I go – school, dance class, clothing stores, playground… don’t think it will ever really go away but thank you for your wonderful post and reminder.
    Our children are definitely sponges and we don’t realize we can be doing more harm than good.

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